College...what a long strange trip it's been.
THE PENN STATE CHAPTER
As I said on my bio burble, I began my college career over again at Penn State--the York branch campus to be exact. The steps back in were small at first--I only took one class the first two semesters I was there. My fear of failure was still extremely strong at that point. But I thrived at Penn State York and did fairly well (but of course I was living at home. That was a big factor).
However when I got to main campus up in State College, my academic career went to hell in a handbag really quickly but the social life thrived (gee wonder why?). I was on my own at a big university and I couldn't handle the responsibility. I went to the classes that I liked and just slacked off the rest of the time. I could have graduated from Penn State but my subconscious wasn't down with that for some odd reason. I honestly miss Penn State. I regret the choices I made academically but I met really cool people, learned from some of the top historians in the nation, and just have some really great memories.
THE TRANSITION TIME
Anyway, back to the story. After the fall '99 semester, I moved home. I haven't officially dropped out of Penn State but oh bloody well. That process is just too much of a pain in the ass. Anyway, I moved home, which I was very reluctant to do at first but I did it anyhow. Moving home was the best thing I could have done. I got a chance to just get my head back on straight, got a part time job and took a semester off. I also decided in that time that I wasn't going to go back to Penn State. My best friend was set to graduate May 2000 and she wouldn't have been there if I went back up. I decided that going back to Penn State wasn't worth it, worked on a transfer and that leads me to where I am today.
As I also said in my bio burble, I went to Millersville way back...a decade ago now that I think on it *ACK* Man I feel old. Anyway I decided to transfer back to Millersville. Even though I was a 19 year old slacker the first time, I did like the campus and had a good time there.
I started Fall 2000 and just went on a rampage. I made deans List that semester and I've been doing fairly well ever since. I really like it here, although it's tough to deal with the fact that most of my fellow students are so much younger than I am. I feel so old :) Include this semester in the count and I am down to my last three. December 2002 I will finally have a diploma in hand (and I WILL graduate before I'm 30 (family injoke)).I am feeling confidant enough that I am even considering my academic future.
6/12/02 It's been a month since graduation and I still can't fathom it all. My diploma came in the mail today and I burst into tears when I saw it. It is most definitely official now. Wow. This is honestly the greatest triumph of my life so far folks. I am SO proud of myself. A-'s in Colonial PA German Society, Modern Latin America, and African History (!!), a B+ in 20th Century Russia, and a B in 20th Century Europe. The semester will be a yardstick that I use to encourage myself in rough times. Never will I doubt my capabilities again.
But what does the future hold? Who knows. Grad school may or may not be in the future, after all. If I can't get an assistantship, then I sure as hell can't afford to go. Regardless of what happens, I can hold my head high. I've got the piece of paper finally and my heart just soars at the thought. As things happen, I will let you know.
02/15/03 It has now been ten months since graduation and my degree has yet to be put to use. But the only important issue about that is that I have the degree. I still don't know exactly where it will take me. Through conditions out of my control, my career has yet to really get underway. It's frustrating but what can I do about that.
I was considering grad school in the fall of 2003 but I rather chickened out. Practicality nosed its way into my thought and I decided it better that I wait and save up money first. I am still salivating over East Stroudsburg though..don't worry about that *grin* But now, I am not so sure. Who knows though, right?
UPDATE 4/3/04 Well shitloads of stuff have happened since I last updated this freakin page. In 2003, I worked a season at Martin Van Buren NHS and from there gained the confidence to consider grad school again.
And I'm in *GRIN*. I got my letter of acceptance from Shippensburg University January 29th. I will begin work in the Applied History program this August. So by the end of the year, you can come back here and start looking for the Shippensburg Chapter of the saga! :)
© 2001-2005 Keri Leaman. All Rights Reserved